The end of the 108 Day Healing Journey

In January of 2014 I had a partial thyroidectomy.  It had been presented as the best option, and although I had hoped to heal myself without surgery, I also had to accept that I wasn't able to do so in six+ years with the assistance of a variety of Eastern and Western physicians and specialists.  I was referred to a fantastic Surgeon by the name of Dr. Bouvet at UCSD Medical Center.  I hardly have a scar now.

The pathologist found that the nodule on my right side thyroid was in fact stage 1 cancer.  That my body had wrapped a "calcium fortress" around the cancer to prevent it from spreading.  To recap, the growing nodule was complex, meaning it was soft and solid, but the calcium is what had prevented an accurate reading for all of my tests: biopsies, ultra sounds, blood work, etc...  It was also nearly 5 cm big.  The pathologist and surgeon were really surprised by this finding, and had never seen anything quite like it!  It just goes to show that my body really was trying to protect me.  The nodule was thankfully growing slowly, which is typical of thyroid cancer, and that even though it was removed, I'll still need to keep an eye on my throat: thyroid, parathyroids, and lymph nodes.

The physical recovery time was 3 weeks, but I did experience surgery trauma, which is an emotional strain from a deeply depressing or disturbing experience.  Thank God for for my Tension Release work.  I gave myself a session by hyperarousing my psoas muscles and I allowed my body to return to a state of rest through shaking.  Very healing.

I had low energy for awhile.  Maca and Chlorella powder sincerely helped me reset my energetic body.  I ate lighter more nutrient meals, ate consciously, meditated more, set intentions, and I developed my listening skills with my body so that I could remain as relaxed as possible during my healing time.

My path was uniquely my own.  I do not recommend this for anyone else.  I only write this blog to share.  To let others know that every healing journey is individual and that it may take a different turn than what you initially wanted, but if you stay connected to your higher Self (Jiva), you will know the right answer for your life.
Namaste.

biopsy and after effects

My husband and I awoke at 5:30 a.m. on Wed. Oct. 30th and drove an hour to UCSD, checked in, got the IV tapped into my vein by a talented phlebotomist, answered loads of questions to my attending nurse, was given an Ativan by the Anesthesiologist to tuck under my tongue to reduce initial anxiety, and then they began the IV cocktail of Fentanyl and Versed for the pain and anxiety.  I had about 6 guys working with and on me in tight surgical quarters that would have seemed claustrophobic if I was of sound mind, and it felt a little: 'Fire In The Sky,' especially because I had a sheet over my head while they were needling my throat.  All of these nurses and Dr.s were gentle and kind men.  I spoke with all of them and truly felt like I was in caring hands.  The Radiologist had completed thousands of biopsies, and I also felt assured that I was in very capable hands.  At one point during the procedure, I heard the Radiologist repeat to his crew that the Pathologist needed better extractions, so they needed the coring needle to take larger chunks out.  Finally they got what they needed, and I was able to rest.  My hunky Aussie nurse who had set the Pandora station to my preference to ensure my comfort during the biopsy, walked me through the hospital and waited with me for Dominic to pull our car around.  He was a sweet soul.  I slept a little on and off the whole way home, in between bouts of nausea, but as soon as I ate I felt wonderful.  I slept most of the day and night without disturbance when I finally got home around 11:30 a.m.

They next day (yesterday) I was a little tired, but in positive spirits.  I rested as much as my daughter would allow.  At 2 years old, she requires quite a bit from me in general, but it's as though she sensed I was off, because she allowed me to rest and was contented by some baby tv.  After our nap time we dressed in make up and costume to go trick or treating with friends.  I was exhausted, but seeing her experience Halloween with her BFF and knock on the doors together receiving candy with exuberant smiles and giggles was so worth it!

Today though, I feel like shit!  My throat is still sore, I didn't sleep well last night.  I feel exhausted and hormonal.  I have a short fuse with Wren (my daughter) who is in full blown terrible twos!  I feel guilt with my anger and frustrations with her as she's doing everything to test, but too tired to work with her in the way she needs me to.  All I want to do is sleep or cry.  I feel off and unlike myself.  I cancelled my 2 yoga classes tomorrow morning.  My boss is thankfully subbing for me.  I love her, she's such a wonderful person.  I just don't have it in my to teach and inspire others.  I feel so low energy that all I want to do is sleep, which is what I'm about to do right now.

Next week sometime I'll hear results.

On the positive though, I've restarted painting with watercolors.  I'm using art therapy to help me work through my feelings and express myself.  It's been such a joy to express my creativity!  I can't wait until I have my energy back so that I can start being active again.  I miss hiking and biking.  All in due time.

some answers

In my last post I shared 3 huge events that influenced me.  In the last two days I have encountered 3 new people that have opened my eyes and offered so much clarity.  The 1st person being my acupuncturist who explained to me where my imbalances are and that through her applications of treatment and by how my body reacted, and her later meditation, that my archetype that is creating an imbalance is the saboteur.  She said my CF is fire meaning I'm very heart centered and emotion based.  Personal relationships with others is my emphasis, but my imbalance is that I look to others for approval.  I care too much what others think.  I have put on a mask to hide my emotions to not make others feel uncomfortable, and that I probably taught myself how to do this from a young age as a coping mechanism.  She told me that I'm one of the kindest and warmest people she knows, but that I have an inner conflict.  I need to meditate more and ask myself who I am and what I want.  I need to be authentic and stop hiding behind my mask.

The 2nd person of value in the last few days was a gentle man I met who gave me a tarot reading.  He gave me a 13 month reading, and my God will this be a year full of change!  He immediately touched his heart and said I'm holding so much emotion and stress here.  I was and do.  He told me he sees me to be wearing a mask.  It's almost like I have 2 sides that are disconnected.  The side I show and the side I hide.  Everyone does this to some extent.  My two halves are disconnected and I need to mend them together.  He said Muladhara, Anahata, Vishuddha, and Anja are out of balance.  That the next few months will be an emotional time for me where I need to look inward.  I need to overcome myself and my inner struggle.  Figure out what I want for my life.  He asked me to begin with muladhara, which is my connection with the physical world.  Clean the clutter from my house, clean and smudge my house.  Negative energy clings like static and clouds perspective.  After some reflection and introspection I will begin to move into a positive direction.  The details aren't important, but it confirms I have some inner work to do.

The 3rd person is Dr. David Russell who analyzed my DNA and blood chi from Denmark.  Here are his findings:

"Dear Tracy,

Thank you for your query. Your test showed the following:

Fundemental imbalances due to your constitution and history- asthi dhatu, adrenals, kidneys

Chronic toxin load- amalgams, pharmeceuticals, fluorine, sugar, dairy, mental, surgery.

Tattwa: Vaju imbalance

Chakra imbalances: Vishuddha, Anahata, Muladhara

Cause of thyroid issues: struma, chronic hepatitis (vaccine), surgical shock, pernicious anemia, mercury toxins, food allergies, hypothalamus dysfunction, immune cell dysfunctiuon, cancer patterns, spleen, stress, adrenals, genes.

Current emotional patterns up for resolution: life purpose conflict, deep inner tiredness from emotions, food conflicts, sexual conflicts, transformation conflicts

Current unconscious patterns up for resolution: deep seated fear.

Current Mind/Body age patterns being worked through: 8, 12, 30.

The remedies are a special pattern of: Calc. fluor.; Calc. sulph.; Lachesis; and a pattern for integrating the Mahat with the Ahamkara and therefore to the manas.

Please feel free to call me (see attached file).

Blessings, David"

I have the pills which I'm to take 4 of 2x per day.  I called him for more information.  BTW he is a brilliant and compassionate person.  I trust him.  I felt that immediately.  He said my body is in chaos and that I have 4 major areas of concern.  That any one of these would have caused the tumor, but that all 4 are existing and boiling within me now, and that this first course of remedies will help the larger issues.  I need to take the remedies for the next 24 days, get mild-moderate exercise everyday, do my meditation and he gave me a wonderful technique to implement.

I admitted that vegetarianism didn't feel right for me, and he said that it's because vegetarianism/veganism isn't for everyone!  It's not for me and I need to treat meat (specifically chicken and lamb) like a curry: add it in, but don't overwhelm the dish with it.  Dr. Russell assured me that meat will pacify my vata imbalance.  He also advised for me to be mindful with prayer during food prep and eating, because I'm "feeding" my body on several levels.  I was further assured that it's ok to dance with my food, or while I prepare it.  Sprinkle it with joy.  My body is a house of worship!  This is an important time to be gentle with myself.  He also reminded me that for transformation to occur I need to tap into my deeper self, because I'm ready.

"I cook/eat with presence for the health and happiness of my body and soul."

Lastly, because the tumor is slow growing, a biopsy will be too aggressive of an approach at this time.  I should consider delaying it.  My DNA reads that I do not have cancer, so I have time to explore this approach and put faith into my body's ability to heal itself.  This is what Dr, E. Miller refers to as the Mind Body connection.  

Applications

This has been a tough week for me.  Between my husband getting carpal tunnel surgery and taking care of him and my 2 yr. old, my wonderful aunt Linda passing away from cancer yesterday, and my tumor has been stressing me out because I've had a lot of headaches and fatigue.   So, there's been fear and thoughts of my mortality.   I let myself wallow yesterday, because sometimes you just need to do that!  I put on a dumb show and enjoyed some alone time.

Today though, I woke up feeling refreshed!  My daughter and I paid a visit to our local organic farm and bought a big bag of produce.  This is such a glorious season providing so many of my favorite fruits and veggies!

from left to right:  strawberries, pomegranates, garlic, Thai peppers, local honey(additional), kale, zucchini, basil, romaine lettuce, bell peppers, and tomatoes.  All for $20 from the San Diego Organic Farm CSA (community supported agriculture) program.

After my Ayurvedic workshop last weekend with Laura Plumb from Deep Healing, I have a refreshed understanding and application to how I should eat this season.  This is a Vata season, very airy, cold and light.  So it's best to balance that with Kapha and Pitta foods and exercise.  From my test I determined that my doshas are imbalanced between Kapha and Vata.  I need more Pitta, which is very ideal to implement in this season!  Daily doses of turmeric, spicier and more bitter foods, and increased vinyasa or ashtanga yoga in the early mornings to increase HEAT in the body.  Pitta is about fire.  Both kapha and vata run cold, so I need heat.  That is key for me right now.  Heat also represents transformation and burning off the impurities of the mind and body.

I renewed my registration with YogaGlo to be able to practice my yoga with teacher guidance for a little extra push in the earlier hours of the morning when studios are rarely open, so I can have 'me time' before my family rises.  That is something I've been desperately laking:  'me time!'  I haven't meditated in the last 2 weeks and I've been feeling more scattered, fearful about this recent diagnosis, and frustrated.  Meditation keeps me focused, connected, confident, relaxed, and joyful.  Today I will make 'me time' and meditate, so that I have the insight to know what's right for me.  

Healing is in the subtleties.  It requires listening, feeling, and knowing.

I'm still waiting for my round of remedies from Dr. Russell in Denmark.  He was analyzing my DNA a few days ago and should be sending me a package soon.  My husband set up an acupuncture treatment for me through our very gifted friend who is also well versed in Homeopathy.  I'll know more next week.

Don't forget to get 30 mins of sunshine a day to store enough vitamin D to carry you through the dark winter months.

Radiology consultation

I've felt so relieved to have had the amalgam fillings removed and replaced with a non-toxic filler.  Since June I have also adjusted my diet to pescatarianism, and for the last month I have eaten primarily local and seasonal organic vegetarian food.  Still a little meat when my body seems to require it.  My energy levels have been great with also implementing more yoga, meditation, prayer, light weight lifting and cardio.  Oh, and naps when necessary while my daughter naps.  I really love those peaceful hours mid-day!  I've lost inches, not lbs, but still feeling healthy and optimistic about my health, and less stressed.

Yesterday my family and I drove down to UCSD for my radiology consultation.  She looked over my previous records, asked a lot of questions, explained to me her opinion on how to approach my tumor.  Yeah...this was the 1st time that word had been used:  Tumor.  I know it just describes the abnormal growth, but it's still a scary word due to the connotation...  Anyways, she explained that since my tumor is highly complex and vascular that they will have to take more images, because this will be a very delicate procedure.  I will require moderate anesthesia locally and through an IV drip.  They will have a pathologist on site to analyze every single tissue and fluid withdrawal to insure they have what they need before sending the biopsy to get stained and analyzed more thoroughly.  I really liked the radiologist and again feel like I'm in great hands with this team of Dr.s who are on the forefront of medicine in their fields and are internationally respected.  My appointment for the procedure is on Oct. 30th.

I also received an email from Dr. Russell who did in fact receive my DNA!  He said he will be doing the evaluation and sending me the first course of remedies this coming week.  I have no idea what to expect and I'm very curious indeed.  

Every day I wake up feeling more and more empowered.  I'm not handing my experience over to anyone, nor sitting around throwing myself a pity party!  I know deep down that I'm healthy and that everything is going to be okay.  I have to be strong and I have to do the work.  That's precisely what I'm doing.

Yoga Postures for Vishuddha the fifth chakra

The gland associated with Vishuddha is the thyroid, which regulates metabolism and affects physical and mental development. When this chakra is in balance we are able to tune in and listen to the guidance of our higher self. We are able to truly find our inner truth, and to communicate and live our truth in daily life. A balanced Vishuddha chakra allows us to easily communicate with others, and to be honest with ourselves.

When Vishuddha is imbalanced communication breaks down. We may be unable to effectively let ourselves be heard, and, conversely, we may be unable to listen—to others, and to our own higher self. This chakra is damaged by all that passes through the throat—lying, gossip, alcohol, smoking, drugs, and overeating. Deficiencies in Vishuddha manifest as neck stiffness, shoulder tension, and teeth grinding.

The sound of Ujayii breathing, as well as chanting, also help to bring balance to Vishuddha.

To successfully reach and open the fifth chakra, the body must attain a certain level of purification which helps to achieve sensitivity needed for the subtler upper chakras. Purification is attained through diet, yoga, meditation, and exercise. As we move up the chakras, balancing each one, Vishuddha chakra becomes easier to work with as it builds from a stable, balanced base. If you have trouble communicating, consider working with the lower chakras first so that Vishuddha can more easily be accessed.

Yoga Asanas for Vishuddha Health

In no particular order.

reach up to the sky

low lunge

down dog

lion

plow and shoulder stand

fish

camel

bridge

Add in some forward neck rolls, twist the neck by looking over each shoulder for 5 breaths, clasp the hands behind the back while pulling the arms down and drop the head forward, and do some shoulder rolls to relax.

Vishuddha according to Sharon Gannon of Jivamukti

Chakra means wheel. A chakra is a doorway through which we perceive reality. Our ability to see into the various dimensions of reality is reflected in the energetic ease or dis-ease found in our relationships. The disease of feeling disconnected from oneself and others is pervasive in our time.

The practices of yoga clear our vision and heal the disease of disconnect. Vision is not just physical seeing but rather total awareness, full consciousness involving all of the five senses and beyond.

To purify is to cleanse of misperception. The yogi attains clear vision by overcoming avidya or ignorance, which is a case of mistaken identity. Through purification of perception, the radiant truth of the Cosmic Self is revealed. This is referred to as Samadhi or Yoga.

How do we evolve from disease to cosmic harmony? Our present condition is a result of our past actions or karmas. To purify our present condition demands a purification of our karmas: thoughts, words and deeds. All karmas are vibratory in nature. They are sounds. A thought is a sound, a word spoken silently or out loud is sound, a physical action is sound expressed, its effect permeating into the relative atmosphere of existence. All action speaks to every aspect of created manifestation causing an altering of life itself.

The ancient purifying system of yoga includes mantra and asana, the practice of which provides practical methods for purifying our relationships with others and ourselves. Our bodies are made of our past actions (karmas). Each chakra corresponds to particular relationships we have had with others, as well as our own physical organs, nervous system, senses and body parts. Every asana provides an opportunity to access and heal karmic relationships. Chanting mantra while in a particular asana can provide the means to resolve past karmas, thus lifting avidya to reveal the truth about ourselves and others. The purification of our relationships brings about a healing of the disease of disconnect and the reestablishment of a sound body and sound mind able to embody, radiate and communicate peace and joy to all.

Vishuddha Chakra:

• Translation: Pure ("Poison Removing")
• Bija Mantra: HAM
• Color: Blue
• Element: Ether
• Sense: Hearing
• Organs: Thyroid/Vocal Organs/Ears/Skin
• Spine: Cervical
• Outer Body: Throat/Neck
• Asana: Shoulderstand/Plough/Fish
• Key Word: Communication
• Relationship: Yourself (see yourself as a holy being)

Purification of this chakra stimulates the secretion of the elixir soma. Once soma is tasted, we can say what we mean and mean what we say. One's voice reflects the condition of one's mind. The inner condition of the mind determines how we see ourselves, our place in the world around us; it defines the roles we play in one another's lives. Sweet speech, which is uplifting and wise, comes through the voice of those who master the ability to allow the breath (Holy Spirit) to activate their vocal organs. One's strength and ease of speaking shows the degree of connectedness to the innermost aspect of Self, the eternal Atman. Deep listening is another essential skill that develops with the purification of Vishuddha chakra. Through hearing, knowing arises; through knowing, being results.

Spiritual Exercise: While assuming poses that purify the Vishuddha chakra (i.e., salamba sarvangasana, halasana and matsyasana*), go to the Karmic root of the imbalance and disconnect associated with this level of perception. To do this, focus on yourself. See yourself as a holy being, one who is worthy and able to express elevated qualities that would help to uplift others. Let go of feelings of shyness, nervousness and self-consciousness.

Option #1: As you inhale silently say, "Make me an instrument..." Then exhale and silently say "for Thy will." Inhale again silently saying, "Not my will" Exhale silently saying "but Thy will be done."

Option #2: While in salamba sarvangasana, practicing khechari-mudra, visualize a bright sun in your navel. As you inhale, breathe the sun into your throat. Hold it in the throat until it becomes cool; then exhale the coolness into the moon center of the Ajna chakra. Repeat the cycle. Progress into a deeper contemplation and karmic purification incorporating breath and sound by chanting the Bija mantra, HAM, silently on the inhale and exhale, or out-loud on the exhale while remaining in the asana.

Chopra's perspective on Vishuddha

The fifth center: EXPRESSION CHAKRA

The throat chakra, called Vishuddha in sanskrit, is the center of expression.  When it is open and flowing, you have the confidence that you are capable of communicating your needs.  When the fifth chakra is obstructed, a person will often feel that he is not being heard.  To feel alive and empowered, it is important that this energy center is clear.  Energy blockages in this area are often associated with thyroid problems and chronic neck pain.

The Law of Detachment governs the throat chakra.  An open fifth chakra enables you to express your truth without concern for censors and critics.  This does not mean you say things that are deliberately hurtful or insensitive.  On the contrary, people with open centers of communication are skillful at expressing their needs in ways that are life-supporting.  Anxiety over how people will react to your views does not arise when energy is flowing freely through the chakra of expression.

The Law of Detachment reminds you that you can choose your words and actions, but you cannot control the response to your words and actions.  When your intentions are clear and your heart is open, you will spontaneously demonstrate right speech, trusting that the universe will handle the details.

The color of the fifth chakra is blue.  It is associated with the elements of ether or space and the sense of hearing.

The mantra to open the fifth chakra is Hum.

Poses:  Hasta Uttanasana- Sky Reaching Pose and Parvatasana awakens the throat chakra

diss the "bliss effect"

We should all be very concerned about all of the unhealthy and processed foods now available in our grocery stores. It is concerning how many people are eating them and feeding them to their children.

Several staples in these processed foods—particularly corn and soy—have been genetically modified to increase production and meet the demand. As a result of this process, these foods may contain harmful chemicals and organisms that are not good for your body.

I just read an article about how some food companies create specific combinations of tastes that they put into their products so we will eat more of them and still not feel satisfied. They call it “The Bliss Effect.”


Here are 3 links to important articles to help you become more aware of the foods that you are eating. My very 1st post on this blog is about no-gmo.  Please scroll down to have a read!  Every body is different.  Find the kind of fuel that your body needs to have optimum health and energy. Be good to your body. Learn about the basics of good nutrition.

Let’s affirm: I love myself; therefore, I choose to be aware of what I eat and how it makes me feel.

Top 10 Genetically Modified Food Products 

The Extraordinary Science of Addictive Junk Food 

American food banned in other countries

My family and I currently live in Ramona just outside of San Diego.  It has a farming community and we are fortunate to buy a lot of our produce from a local organic farm a couple miles away.  Our honey is also local!  I understand for most people this is not possible.  Please check my Build It page on this blog for some inspiration on edible gardens.  Also, fortunately a lot of grocery stores have a wonderful organic and locally grown section.  Start there and branch out.  Learn to read the SCU# on your produce.  It's best to be informed.  As a consumer your power is where your dollar goes.  Every time you shop you are voting, so be conscientious.  I found an app. on my phone called Buycott, and I can scan the product with my phone and know its origin.  It's amazing and free!

You don't have to go radical.  Just start leaning into the direction you want to go and build from there.  A lifestyle change takes time, as it is a journey into yourself.

Bye Bye Amalgam Fillings!

I had my 2 fillings removed by the dentist yesterday!  Immediately afterwards, my husband emailed this link to me and I had to share, because it supports my decision.  I haven't had much dental work done, but getting those fillings replaced wasn't that uncomfortable and I don't feel much tenderness today.  Feeling good all around.  Please enjoy this article!

"I believe there is a possibility that a malfunctioning thyroid has the potential to normalize naturally when given the proper conditions, as can so many other maladies we are experiencing in our modern society. Once toxic mercury is removed (and this must be handled cautiously, the body has a chance to regenerate and begin to function with vitality. Awareness is a powerful tool for getting the help that is needed to heal. I will continue to share my information to the end that eventually a change of attitude will be universally accepted when dealing with mercury and thyroid conditions, and the devastating impact mercury has on many other human health conditions."

http://www.eidon.com/mercury_thyroid.html

sound healing; Vishuddha

The throat chakra: Vishuddha is stimulated and harmonized by chanting.   Deva Premal and Miten are offering their annual 21 day mantra meditation journey.  Everyday you'll receive an email to access the chant of the day.  You will learn about chanting and what these mantras represent.  This is a very devotional practice.  I participated last year for only half, but loved it and feel drawn to participate again.  If you're interested in sharing this experience with me, then click here: 21 Day Mantra Meditation Journey  It begins on Tuesday September 10th, but you can jump in anytime.


About Vishuddha- It's the SEAT OF EXPRESSION! The bija chant is: HAM. This chakra is associated with the color blue, and the element ether. Motto: Be honest! This is a place of eloquence where you express your higher wisdom, the wisdom of harmony and alignment with the Divine Self. All actions are motivated by good intention, a desire to embody peace and to express the highest potential of life. Vishuddha is BALANCED when you can set clear and healthy boundaries to protect you and your family, to protect your time and energy, to say what you feel is right. You express yourself honestly, eloquently, and respectfully. When this chakra is IMBALANCED you may find yourself swallowing your words and feelings and not expressing yourself. You may give your time and energy away feeling depleted and stressed. You entertain hurtful gossip and speak badly about yourself and others.
On a physical plane, you have thyroid imbalances, a frequent sore throat, or neck pain. This chakra is located at the center of your throat and affects the thyroid.

“To Speak”

*Poses to balance this chakra: plow, shoulder stand, fish, neck rolls and twist, inversions (where the head is below the heart) to flow energy through vishuddha like uttanasana.

Express your voice!  Speak up for what you know is right. Sing and chant, dance, play an instrument, learn a new language, and write. Open the lines of communication with your loved ones.

This is an attachment to me from Dr. David N. Russell, which goes into an incredible amount of detail.

Prayer

(I feel absolutely grateful)

Dear God,

Please send angels to stop the growth of the nodule on my thyroid and to completely heal my thyroid and whole body.

Please send miracles to heal my thyroid and body.

Please offer guidance so I make the right decisions for my life and well being, and know who to trust on my healing journey.

Please forgive my recklessness, anger, and fear, and help me to learn from my mistakes.

Please give me strength and courage.

Heal my body.

Heal my heart.

and so it is.

Amen

(I feel grateful and absolutely certain that my desire will come to pass, and I feel the joy of it becoming a reality)

Wish it

"What we focus on in our minds we will experience in our lives."  -Marriane Williamson 


I couldn't be more grateful and pleased that the receptionist at my Dentist office felt that getting these 2 amalgam fillings removed were important enough to make it happen for me.  Without telling her the sob story of why.  I called today to check if there was a cancelation, and the receptionist told me that the other woman I spoke with had really pushed to open a space for me and did.  I've put a lot of thought into this over the last 4 days.  Now on Thurs. it will happen!  Yes, thank you!  Whoo-hoo!

fillings

On the questionnaire from Dr. David Russell in Denmark, he asked me some very interesting and deep questions.  One of which is:  Do you now have, or have you ever had (date removed) amalgam/’silver’/’mercury’ fillings in your teeth?  Actually, the answer is Yes, I do.  I have 2 fillings from 1996 that are amalgam.  If this substance could be leeching into my system causing problems, then it seems easy enough to facilitate a safe removal.  I'm on a cancelation list for next week with my dentist and I expressed this importance, which she completely understood.  Why is this not a thought in mainstream medicine in the USA?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dental_amalgam_controversy

Where to start?

So, I left that last endocrinology appointment at UCSD with Dr. Santos thinking: "I like her, but this approach feels like a band aid approach.  Ok, so we palpitate, poke, and maybe cut, but what caused my body to be in a homeostatic imbalance?  Why did this grow in me?  What is the root of this problem?  If I'm mineral deficient, or if this is from when I ate meat or drank fluorinated city water as a kid, then I want to know now what real changes I can make!  How can I create balance and harmony in my body to be optimally healthy?!  If we conduct a partial thyroidectomy, then how do I know a lump won't pop up on the other side or somewhere else, since we're not going deeper and addressing the real problem.  Before impulsively doing something I cannot undo, I need to do some more research.

Could this be emotional and stress related?  I meditate almost daily, but I am prone to getting wound up, which is why I have such a diligent practice.  We all know that stress is poison for the body.

After the appointment I came home to post something on facebook.  Why not share, my journey is going to be powerful and healing.  It may inspire someone else to confront their own health issues and make appropriate change.

I made a phone call to my best friend.  She started flipping through books and trying to help me figure out a deeper cause.  She recommended a progressive Danish physician named Dr. David Russell.  I wrote him immediately.  I also wrote to Bhava Ram and Laura Plumb a powerful husband and wife team based here in San Diego, CA. who practice and teach deep healing yoga.  He is the author of Warrior Pose, and healed himself from a failed back surgery and stage 4 Throat cancer.  He's been in remission for a decade now with his wife Laura's nutritional and Ayurvedic help.

I heard back from Dr. Russell that night.  He wants to help me and his approach is refreshing.  I'm on my way to send him my DNA right now!

September 3, 2013 was Day 1 and why.

I officially have the shove I need to begin my healing journey.  Yesterday I saw my new endocrinologist. Wait back up!  Ok, in 2007 I noticed in a picture that there was a strange lump in my throat.  I consulted my internal med. Dr. in Phx. confirmed its existence and referred me to the ultrasound clinic and an endocrinologist next.  He preformed a biopsy, which turned out to be so painful and traumatic that when the results returned "inconclusive" and he wanted to preform a 2nd one, I bounced.  See ya!  He wasn't able to get a clear reading, because the nodule was cystic, so the cells that he needed were diluted in fluid.

My journey took me to a Naturopathic for a 2nd opinion who found out my iodine levels were shockingly low, as well as my vitamin D levels.  She also told me to start eating meat again (I had been a vegetarian for almost 2 yrs. at that point), and she educated me on the importance of fish oil.

2008
2 months later I was off to s.e. Asia!  The cystic lump disappeared!  Was it the relaxation, ocean, regular massages, seafood, gluten free non dairy and vitamin rich vegetables?  Not sure.  I thought I was in the clear.  I had never felt so alive as I did at that time in my life!  I was writing, dating, traveling, making new friends, scuba diving, meditating daily...life was divine.  I kept traveling.  After 3/4 of a year in Asia I then lived in Canada with my ex, and after spending 6 mos. at home in Arizona I accepted a job in central America.  The Caribbean side of Costa Rica specifically.  Gorgeous!  I was there for 4 months.

I endured a trauma on my last day of work.  A man wielding a machete jumped out at me from the banana trees while I was walking to the nature retreat centre, a.k.a. my job where I taught yoga. He grabbed me and tried to pull me into the forest.  I pushed him away.  He punched me and I ducked under his machete that he swung at my head, and I ran as fast as my legs would carry me while screaming my brains out:  "AYUDEME!!!"  It was so terrifying.  I just shook and cried.
After taking some time for myself to emotionally heal from the trauma by surfing and practicing yoga, I returned to the States.  I didn't tell my family or friends, and acted like nothing happened.  I didn't want them to worry and try to prevent me from traveling more.  That has always been the most important thing in my life:  my freedom.  At that time I attributed it to traveling.

2010
After a few weeks I reconnected with a wonderful man and gave our relationship a real chance.  We are now married with a 2 year old daughter.  I noticed after I returned to the States and moved in with him that the lump has returned in my throat, on my thyroid gland.  Since I didn't have insurance yet, I just wished it away and brushed it off, because I didn't have the money to get the resources to help myself.  I eventually became insured when I was pregnant and they monitored my thyroid carefully.  Thyroid imbalances can cause birth defects in extreme cases.  My extensive blood work including my thyroid levels have always been perfect.  My daughter has a healthy thyroid and I couldn't be more relieved.

2013
A few months ago I felt a sharp pain that lasted a few days on the right side of my thyroid precisely where my nodule is located.  I immediately made an appointment with the Dr. who referred me to the ultra sound clinic.  I could tell this time around that the technician was more tight lipped and serious than the previous one.  She was sugary sweet upon completion.  I wondered what she saw.

FULL CIRCLE-  My husband and I finally got in after a long waiting list to see an endocrinologist at UCSD.  She reviewed my previous records, asked a lot of questions, and seemed very thorough.  She was also a great listener, knowledgeable, and compassionate.  We like her and I have faith in her.  She conducted an ultra sound in office and became immediately concerned!  Apparently the nodule has grown to 4.2 cm from 3.3 cm back in 2007.  It also was no longer only cystic, as it also was solid and contained calcifications making it "complex."  Her eyes became very serious and her arms were crossed.  She started to explain that complex nodules were often malignant and that we should consider surgery to conduct a partial thyroidectomy a.s.a.p., but that if we went that route and she did find cancer then she would need to go back in and remove the other half of my thyroid!  2 possibly surgeries?  No thanks.  Although, a 2nd biopsy was the last thing I wanted to do, it was certainly less invasive and extreme, and she assured me the radiology department would give me a "cocktail" to keep me conscious while preventing me from feeling the pain.  She explained they would biopsy while doing and ultrasound to avoid the cystic areas to gather more cells for a more clear reading in the solid areas of the nodule.

It's all beginning to sink in slowly.  There are a variety of emotions that continue to wash through me.  No matter how scary this is, I'm not going to run anymore...

Why NO-GMO?

This is an article posted by a scientist friend: Esta Libero.  She is a Former Pro-GMO Scientist who peaks Out On The Real Dangers of Genetically Engineered Food:

• 
  I retired 10 years ago after a long career as a research scientist for Agriculture Canada. When I was on the payroll, I was the designated scientist of my institute to address public groups and reassure them that genetically engineered crops and foods were safe. There is, however, a growing body of scientific research - done mostly in Europe, Russia, and other countries - showing that diets containing engineered corn or soya cause serious health problems in laboratory mice and rats.
  I don't know if I was passionate about it but I was knowledgeable. I defended the side of technological advance, of science and progress.I have in the last 10 years changed my position. I started paying attention to the flow of published studies coming from Europe, some from prestigious labs and published in prestigious scientific journals, that questioned the impact and safety of engineered food.I refute the claims of the biotechnology companies that their engineered crops yield more, that they require less pesticide applications, that they have no impact on the environment and of course that they are safe to eat.There are a number of scientific studies that have been done for Monsanto by universities in the U.S., Canada, and abroad. Most of these studies are concerned with the field performance of the engineered crops, and of course they find GMOs safe for the environment and therefore safe to eat.Individuals should be encouraged to make their decisions on food safety based on scientific evidence and personal choice, not on emotion or the personal opinions of others.
  We should all take these studies seriously and demand that government agencies replicate them rather than rely on studies paid for by the biotech companies.The Bt corn and soya plants that are now everywhere in our environment are registered as insecticides. But are these insecticidal plants regulated and have their proteins been tested for safety? Not by the federal departments in charge of food safety, not in Canada and not in the U.S.There are no long-term feeding studies performed in these countries to demonstrate the claims that engineered corn and soya are safe. All we have are scientific studies out of Europe and Russia, showing that rats fed engineered food die prematurely.These studies show that proteins produced by engineered plants are different than what they should be. Inserting a gene in a genome using this technology can and does result in damaged proteins. The scientific literature is full of studies showing that engineered corn and soya contain toxic or allergenic proteins.Genetic engineering is 40 years old. It is based on the naive understanding of the genome based on the One Gene - one protein hypothesis of 70 years ago, that each gene codes for a single protein. The Human Genome project completed in 2002 showed that this hypothesis is wrong.The whole paradigm of the genetic engineering technology is based on a misunderstanding. Every scientist now learns that any gene can give more than one protein and that inserting a gene anywhere in a plant eventually creates rogue proteins. Some of these proteins are obviously allergenic or toxic.I have drafted a reply to Paul Horgen's letter to the Comox Valley Environmental Council. It is my wish that it goes viral as to educate as many people as possible rapidly. Any and all social media is fine by me. This can also be used as a briefing note for the councilors of AVICC or anywhere else. Thank you for your help. [Original source with replies from Dr. Paul Horgen] 
  Thierry VrainInnisfree Farm 
  I am turning you towards a recent compilation (June 2012) of over 500 government reports and scientific articles published in peer reviewed Journals, some of them with the highest recognition in the world. Like The Lancet in the medical field, or Advances in Food and Nutrition Research, or Biotechnology, or Scandinavian Journal of Immunology, European Journal of Histochemistry, Journal of Proteome Research, etc … This compilation was made by a genetic engineer in London, and an investigative journalist who summarized the gist of the publications for the lay public. 
  GMO Myths and Truths - an evidence based examination of the claims made for the safety and efficacy of genetically modified crops. A report of 120 pages, it can be downloaded for free from Earth Open Source. "GMO Myths and Truths" disputes the claims of the Biotech industry that GM crops yield better and more nutritious food, that they save on the use of pesticides, have no environmental impact whatsoever and are perfectly safe to eat. Genetic pollution is so prevalent in North and South America where GM crops are grown that the fields of conventional and organic grower are regularly contaminated with engineered pollen and losing certification. The canola and flax export market from Canada to Europe (a few hundreds of millions of dollars) were recently lost because of genetic pollution. Did I mention superweeds, when RoundUp crops pass their genes on to RoundUp Resistant weeds. Apparently over 50% of fields in the USA are now infested and the growers have to go back to use other toxic herbicides such as 2-4 D. Many areas of Ontario and Alberta are also infested. The transgenes are also transferred to soil bacteria. A chinese study published last year shows that an ampicillin resistance transgene was transferred from local engineered crops to soil bacteria, that eventually found their way into the rivers. The transgenes are also transferred to humans. Volunteers who ate engineered soybeans had undigested DNA in their intestine and their bacterial flora was expressing the soybean transgenes in the form of antibiotic resistance. This is genetic pollution to the extreme, particularly when antibiotic resistance is fast becoming a serious global health risk. I can only assume the American Medical Association will soon recognize its poorly informed judgement. 
  In 2009 the American Academy of Environmental Medicine called for a moratorium of GM foods, safety testing and labeling. Their review of the available literature at the time noted that animals show serious health risks associated with GM food consumption including infertility, immune dysregulation, accelerated aging, dysregulation of genes associated with cholesterol synthesis, insulin regulation, cell signaling, and protein formation, and changes in the liver, kidney, spleen and gastrointestinal system. Monsanto writes “There is no need to test the safety of GM foods”. So long as the engineered protein is safe, foods from GM crops are substantially equivalent and they cannot pose any health risks.” The US Food and Drug Administration waived all levels of safety testing in 1996 before approving the commercialization of these crops. Nothing more than voluntary research is necessary, and the FDA does not even want to see the results. And there is certainly no need to publish any of it. If you remember 1996, the year that the first crops were commercialized, the research scientists of the US FDA all predicted that transgenic crops would have unpredictable hard to detect side effects, allergens, toxins, nutritional effects, new diseases. That was published in 2004 in Biotechnology if you recall seeing it. 
  I know well that Canada does not perform long term feeding studies as they do in Europe. The only study I am aware of from Canada is from the Sherbrooke Hospital in 2011, when doctors found that 93% of pregnant women and 82% of the fetuses tested had the protein pesticide in their blood. This is a protein recognized in its many forms as mildly to severely allergenic. There is no information on the role played by rogue proteins created by the process of inserting transgenes in the middle of a genome. But there is a lot of long term feeding studies reporting serious health problems in mice and rats. The results of the first long term feeding studies of lab rats reported last year in Food and Chemical Toxicology show that they developed breast cancer in mid life and showed kidney and liver damage. The current statistic I read is that North Americans are eating 193 lbs of GMO food on average annually. That includes the children I assume, not that I would use that as a scare tactic. But obviously I wrote at length because I think there is cause for alarm and it is my duty to educate the public.
  One argument I hear repeatedly is that nobody has been sick or died after a meal (or a trillion meals since 1996) of GM food. Nobody gets ill from smoking a pack of cigarette either. But it sure adds up, and we did not know that in the 1950s before we started our wave of epidemics of cancer. Except this time it is not about a bit of smoke, it’s the whole food system that is of concern. The corporate interest must be subordinated to the public interest, and the policy of substantial equivalence must be scrapped as it is clearly untrue. 
  Thierry Vrain, Former research scientist for Agriculture Canada and now promoting awareness of the dangers of genetically modified foods.
  Sources:vancouversun.comGE Watch Comox Valley Comparing Vitamin, Mineral and Energy Content of GMO vs. Non-GMO