I officially have the shove I need to begin my healing journey. Yesterday I saw my new endocrinologist. Wait back up! Ok, in 2007 I noticed in a picture that there was a strange lump in my throat. I consulted my internal med. Dr. in Phx. confirmed its existence and referred me to the ultrasound clinic and an endocrinologist next. He preformed a biopsy, which turned out to be so painful and traumatic that when the results returned "inconclusive" and he wanted to preform a 2nd one, I bounced. See ya! He wasn't able to get a clear reading, because the nodule was cystic, so the cells that he needed were diluted in fluid.
My journey took me to a Naturopathic for a 2nd opinion who found out my iodine levels were shockingly low, as well as my vitamin D levels. She also told me to start eating meat again (I had been a vegetarian for almost 2 yrs. at that point), and she educated me on the importance of fish oil.
2008
2 months later I was off to s.e. Asia! The cystic lump disappeared! Was it the relaxation, ocean, regular massages, seafood, gluten free non dairy and vitamin rich vegetables? Not sure. I thought I was in the clear. I had never felt so alive as I did at that time in my life! I was writing, dating, traveling, making new friends, scuba diving, meditating daily...life was divine. I kept traveling. After 3/4 of a year in Asia I then lived in Canada with my ex, and after spending 6 mos. at home in Arizona I accepted a job in central America. The Caribbean side of Costa Rica specifically. Gorgeous! I was there for 4 months.
I endured a trauma on my last day of work. A man wielding a machete jumped out at me from the banana trees while I was walking to the nature retreat centre, a.k.a. my job where I taught yoga. He grabbed me and tried to pull me into the forest. I pushed him away. He punched me and I ducked under his machete that he swung at my head, and I ran as fast as my legs would carry me while screaming my brains out: "AYUDEME!!!" It was so terrifying. I just shook and cried.
After taking some time for myself to emotionally heal from the trauma by surfing and practicing yoga, I returned to the States. I didn't tell my family or friends, and acted like nothing happened. I didn't want them to worry and try to prevent me from traveling more. That has always been the most important thing in my life: my freedom. At that time I attributed it to traveling.
2010
After a few weeks I reconnected with a wonderful man and gave our relationship a real chance. We are now married with a 2 year old daughter. I noticed after I returned to the States and moved in with him that the lump has returned in my throat, on my thyroid gland. Since I didn't have insurance yet, I just wished it away and brushed it off, because I didn't have the money to get the resources to help myself. I eventually became insured when I was pregnant and they monitored my thyroid carefully. Thyroid imbalances can cause birth defects in extreme cases. My extensive blood work including my thyroid levels have always been perfect. My daughter has a healthy thyroid and I couldn't be more relieved.
2013
A few months ago I felt a sharp pain that lasted a few days on the right side of my thyroid precisely where my nodule is located. I immediately made an appointment with the Dr. who referred me to the ultra sound clinic. I could tell this time around that the technician was more tight lipped and serious than the previous one. She was sugary sweet upon completion. I wondered what she saw.
FULL CIRCLE- My husband and I finally got in after a long waiting list to see an endocrinologist at UCSD. She reviewed my previous records, asked a lot of questions, and seemed very thorough. She was also a great listener, knowledgeable, and compassionate. We like her and I have faith in her. She conducted an ultra sound in office and became immediately concerned! Apparently the nodule has grown to 4.2 cm from 3.3 cm back in 2007. It also was no longer only cystic, as it also was solid and contained calcifications making it "complex." Her eyes became very serious and her arms were crossed. She started to explain that complex nodules were often malignant and that we should consider surgery to conduct a partial thyroidectomy a.s.a.p., but that if we went that route and she did find cancer then she would need to go back in and remove the other half of my thyroid! 2 possibly surgeries? No thanks. Although, a 2nd biopsy was the last thing I wanted to do, it was certainly less invasive and extreme, and she assured me the radiology department would give me a "cocktail" to keep me conscious while preventing me from feeling the pain. She explained they would biopsy while doing and ultrasound to avoid the cystic areas to gather more cells for a more clear reading in the solid areas of the nodule.
It's all beginning to sink in slowly. There are a variety of emotions that continue to wash through me. No matter how scary this is, I'm not going to run anymore...
I'm creating physical, mental, and spiritual health through nonGMO, organic food, yoga and aerobic exercise, meditation, supportive naturopathic treatments, western medicine, and more. Food inspiration: RAW, Asian Health, Ayurvedic knowledge, etc. I'm an experienced and registered master yoga instructor, trauma release and Thai massage therapist/foot reflexologist. Yoga and meditation will be emphasized, as well as emotional balance through varying techniques rooted in self study.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment